10 Jokes #1

Hey there viewers,

I have been sitting around for ages trying to think of what to write about and what my viewers want. Ultimately, I thought that I want something that entertains you guys, and hopefully makes you laugh.

Due to the vast range of ages that visit my blog, I do have to keep the jokes suitable for everyone.

So here are 10 random jokes that I selected from the 'Family' category on : http://www.jokes-best.com/

1. 

One day Dan asks Bob, "So Bob what did you get for Christmas?"
     Then Bob says to Dan, "Oh see that brand new red Ferrari outside?"
     Dan says, "OOOOH WOW!!!"
     Bob says, "Ya, I got the same exact color tie!"

2.

Wife: "What are you doing?"
    Husband : "Nothing."
    Wife : "Nothing...? You've been reading our marriage
               certificate for an hour."
    Husband : "I was looking for the expiration date."

 

 

3.

Two boys were talking and the one said to the other, "There is a easy way to get what you want."
The other boy said, "How?" the boy replied, "Tell people you know their secret."
The boy jumps up and runs to his dad, "I know your secret!" The dad replies, "Please don't tell your mom heres $10."
The boy then runs to his mom, "I know your secret!" The mom said, "Please don't tell your dad here's $15."
The boy then decides to try it on the mail man, "I know your secret!" The mail man opened his arms and said, "Come, give your dad a hug!"

4.

Husband: everytime I hit you, you never fight back. how do you manage your anger?
Wife: I clean the toilet seat.............
Husband: how does it help
Wife: I use your toothbrush!!!!

5.

"Its my birthday today. My wife has said that shes going to make it my most special birthday ever ...
I wonder where shes going ?"

6.

I'm going to watch my wedding video later 'backwards'. I love the end bit when she takes the ring off, goes back down the aisle and jumps in the car.

7.

A woman was telling her friend , "It is I who made my husband a millionaire." "And what was he before you married him." Asked the friend. The woman replied, " A multi-millionaire".

8.

A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically,
"Relatives of yours?"
"Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."

9.

Wife comes out of a beauty salon and asks husband:
"So, how do I look?"
"Well, at least you tried..."

10.

Son: Dad, what is an idiot?
Dad: An idiot is a person who tries to explain his ideas in such a strange and long way that another person who is listening to him can't understand him. Do you understand me?
Son: No.

So, you have made it to the end. Thank you for viewing. Feel free to leave your comments, thoughts and questions. Also please don't hesitate to leave some of your own jokes, but please keep it G Rated. You May even get a shout out to in the next jokes blog.

- Bee xx